Archives for posts with tag: co-habitation

WOW! The worst thing about traveling over the holidays is making sure you have everything…presents, projects to finish in order to give as a present, clean house, grocery shop for boyfriend who is not going with you, get tickets from Train Station, order new CTA card(that one is already done thanks to smart phones, I was able to order a new right when I realized that I lost my other one), few minor errands… then get up at 4am so I can get my train at 7:30am.

….update….

Cooking went well. It’s fun to spend a day cooking with your boyfriend. I’m up and making some coffee and oatmeal. Everything is packed and got my knitting all organized… whew! I know I’m going to be with my family for two weeks but I’m having a little bit of separation anxiety from leaving the girls(cats) and the boy.

I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed holiday.

Merry Christmas…

Live Long and Prosper

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First off…. HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all have a fantabulous year!

This whole co-habitation thing, though frustrating at times, is pretty kick ass. Maybe it’s the whole adult relationship thing. Let’s back up a bit… shall we….

I have never been one to disappoint my parents. I wanted to live my life the way they wanted me to. I am so badly effected by their disappointment that it sometimes holds me back from doing what I really want to do…. like live with a boy. This is the first time that I am living with someone that I am romatically linked to.

Over the summer, the boy lived in this really run down house. It was kinda cute cuz it reminded me so much of college(I so desperately want to go back). He hated it. He is so use to having money and nice things and nice places to live that it frustrated him beyond belief. He made do, but complained about it every day. “It’s only temporary,” we reminded each other. He took a trip to his parents one week. I was bored to tears without him. He called me one day and said, “I gave my notice. I move out at the end of August.” Great! I had mixed feelings about this because he kept telling me that he was at the wind’s mercy, he could end up back home with his parents for all he knew. I sat patiently by waiting for him to make the decision. After all, it wasn’t my choice. My matra is: “Live your own damn life.” This frustrated him a little I think cuz he kept bringing it up and was shocked that I wasn’t going to beg him to stay. I told him, “Look, I would LOVE it if you stayed. I would be really depressed if you left. To be perfectly honest…. this isn’t my decision.” If you speak girl this means: “It’s not like we’re MARRIED!!!” (the thought of it kinda freaks me out….I’m still trying to figure out if he is really “The One”)

It got to be the end of August and I know that he hadn’t found a place yet. He had been unemployed for a year by this point. I also knew that he was running out of funds. I had been thinking it for a while but decided not to say anything until the last minute. I wasn’t sure I wanted to give up my space, my very first apartment by myself. I finally said, “You can stay with me if you need a place to crash until you find a place.” Notice how I kept that open! hahahah I laugh at myself sometimes. I’m so willing to give him “outs” but I know that were he to leave me again, I would be super upset! I have a problem with commitment. I am starting to realize that it may be my disbelief that anyone could feel that way about me. Anyway… Going on…

Sure enough, he put it off long enough that one day he took me out to eat and said, “I have something very serious to discuss with you.” Nothing like being a little over dramatic, huh? Here I thought he was going to tell me that he was leaving me, nope.. he wanted to know if the offer still stood. He told me how hesitant he was(having done this before with other girls… AND his ex-wife) and how these things never worked out. I got pretty upset at that point. I reminded him that it was only temporary until he found his own place AND that I wasn’t those other girls(meaning: I’m not your ex-wife and stop expecting it!). He went into merging checking accounts and what not… WHOA WHOA WHOA… “back up there mister, who said anything about merging checking accounts???” I proceeded to clear things up by saying that I fully intended to stay separate…(did I forget to mention that we were still unsure at this point whether we were dating or not? Well, I was unsure… even though we were spending DAYS upon DAYS with each other… )

He moved in the first week of September. I wrote about it here and here and here if’n you want to get caught up. I won’t rehash it. So anyway… the point to my long winded story. Co-habitation…. Kicks ass…. and here’s why…

He wants to take care of me without being patronizing! He knows I don’t need it and I can take care of myself, but he wants to make me comfortable. This takes some getting use to for someone like me who is so independent and use to struggle.

If I move suddenly, he makes sure I am okay whether he is in a dead sleep or at the computer working. I LOVE that! Not that he wakes up…  but that he worries about me. That’s kinda sweet, isn’t it?

He does dishes and helps out around the house. That in itself is a miraculous statement! This morning I got breakfast in bed! Happy New Year to ME!!! 🙂

He’s funny and not a day goes by where he doesn’t make me laugh. And everyday I think to myself how gosh darn lucky I am to have him around.

That’s not saying that we don’t get into arguments… cuz we do! But it never lasts long and there is always an apology on one side or another. The only thing that REALLY bugs me is that he wants me to get rid of my cats. This is hard for me cuz I have abandonment issues(no idea where they came from) and I can’t seem to let them go. It might come to a him or them deal… and I have a sinking feeling I will pick them…. I wish I knew how to get them to get along… if anyone has any suggestions or knows where I can go… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know!!

Okay… I hope I explained this co-habitation enjoyment to you all. I know it’s only been about 4 months… but it’s been a GREAT 4 months!

Live Long and Prosper!