I have been super stressed out this week. I just realized it today. Here is why….

Work has been a bitch. Everyone has been getting bitched at by my boss and that puts everyone in a bad mood. I’ve been taking on more and more responsibility…..meaning, doing other peoples jobs. It sucks the big one. My job alone gets stressful and super busy, now I’m taking on 3 other peoples jobs! Why the fuck do I put up with this?

I had my yearly gyno exam today. I hate going to the doctor. I’m always scared that there is something wrong with me.  Thankfully the doctor I went to was super nice and was very fast. They took blood for all the tests… now I’m fucking nervous as hell.

Gustav is doing a number on this fine city. It’s been raining all freakin’ day. I was freezing and wet when I got home. All I want to do is curl up and cry. I miss my family, I miss my parents home, I miss my mom. I come home to get things ready for the boy to bring his stuff in when really all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep.

I turned on the TV and flipped through a couple of channels. I was so excited to see that one of my favorite musicals is on! Oliver was always a family tradition at Christmas time. My dad milked cows and mom needed to keep us busy on Christmas morning until dad got home. Dad would leave for milking at 5 or 6. We were up at 4:30! drooling over the pretty packages under the tree. One year, mom took us to the library to pick out a movie to watch. It looked like everyone else had that same idea. The movies were picked over. Mom grabbed the longest movie on the shelf… Oliver. I guess we fell in love with it cuz it became a tradition. Now, see, I just thought that it was an accident that we ended up with that movie. Mom told me years later that she only got it to keep us from opening the presents before dad got home. I was so crushed! lol

I sit here now, 20 some years after the fact, watching this movie that I have had some strange love affair with. I’m marveling at Charles Dickens imagination. I know it’s just the movie, but I’m seeing the deeper themes. Nancy’s love for the wrong man, Oliver’s desire to be loved, Bill Sykes drive to keep from getting caught. I’m also seeing the actors in a new light. The man who plays Bill Sykes is SO talented and kinda hot. Nancy is SO pretty and has an amazing voice! I think I’m going to go out and buy the book. I always liked “Great Expectations” I think I will really love Oliver Twist. 

The moral of the story, even though I am hundreds of miles away from home, a simple thing like Oliver can make me feel secure. ….. although, it would have been 10 times better had I been at home with my family.

Ok, off to do the crying thing… Hope you are all dry and safe.

Live Long and Prosper.

P.S. Why would the doctor ask me if I felt safe at my apartment? I thought that was a weird question.

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