A few days ago I wrote about my sexual drought, or should I say that I mentioned it. I have been confused and frustrated in many ways. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my toys and I enjoy playing with them… but I miss the touch and feel of a man. I have been dating “the Boy” for about year now. When we first started dating, I didn’t think it would go this far. But somewhere in between the first date and now… I have grown pretty darn fond of this Boy and would even label my feelings as the L-word… Love, not lesbian. We did go through a rough patch which I may write about later but since my breakup with Psycho Michael E(refer to “why do I find all the crazy ones???”), we have been hanging around more and spending great deals of time together. Our sex life has been somewhat non-existent. Considering that I usually want it morning and night… this has been frustrating.

I worried that the ten pounds I gained was putting him off. I worried that I was getting lead on, maybe I was reading signals wrong. Maybe I was reading too much into it…. (yeah, not in the least, right? ;)) I tried to relax and just let it go. I brought it up once and he kinda brushed it off. We weren’t even kissing! But he would cuddle with me like a little teddy bear. And I have to give him credit…. he can hold out just about as long as I can.

I love his hands…. when ever he touches my bare skin, I melt a little… and by melt, I mean it ends up puddled between my legs. I like to watch him on the computer. His hands are so familiar with the key board and they way they move is intoxicating to me. Kissing him is also an experience. His tongue has the most unique texture. It’s so soft and yet there are these intriguing scars from an accident years ago. He’s got big teeth like me! I like to watch his mouth when he talks. Sometimes, I get lost and he’ll be waiting for a response from me and I’ll have NO idea what he’s talking about.

Well, the other night we went out drinking with some friends of mine that were in town for the weekend. When we got home I stripped of my dress and heels and crawled into bed next to him. We started kissing and some heavy petting, I took this as my opportunity. I threw my leg over him and sat on him and looked him in the face and said:

“I love you, you know that right?”

Him: Yes, I know.

Me: Then why won’t you have sex with me? Do you still find me attractive?

Him: Yes, I still find you attractive. I still lust after you, I still find you sexy. But we have been irresponsible with the losing and breaking of condoms. I’ve been reckless with you and I’m trying to be more responsible.

Me: Oh.

I guess I can respect that. I mean, how many guys have I had in my life that cared about me that way? Not many….

So, the next day, I wore this cute little (and I mean barely covering my ass) green skirt with his favorite white panties under neath. It was windy and there was a high risk of the skirt blowing up. šŸ˜‰ He couldn’t keep his hands off me. It was fun! By the end of the night, we were sweaty and waiting for our burritos to be delivered. Blissful! He was still recovering this morning when I left for work! =D